Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Did anyone see...

In totally random news a dude escaped from our local mental health institute last night. I can't fully get the grasp on why he was there other than he like imprisoned some people and is quite a bit on the not-so-stable side of the fence. And speaking of 'the fence'- apparently the dude was outside at the facility and literally jumped a fence and just ran into the woods- lucky us he ran right toward our 'hood. This is about the most exciting thing that's happened in Stepford since the black bear decided this was a nice place to come and hang out on some of my neighbors' swing sets (true story) about two years ago. Yeah, he's still on the loose apparently (the crazy, not the bear...the bear has long since moved to another 'hood).

That is not really what I'm writing about today though.

What I'm wondering about is if you saw that enormous 18-wheeler that apparently broke through my house last night and ran me over? I was talking all tough and big yesterday but today I'm feeling it- back, quads, biceps, calves, chest...whoa. And here's the worst part- we have random stuff scheduled today so I have to work out this morning...again, less than 24 hours since my last workout. This is not me and not what I bargained for. I had this idealistic picture of me working out each morning at the same time exactly timing my workouts 24 hours apart so as to not over-do it. In that fantasy I also got a great shower in ALONE afterward (Reality: kids are in the bathroom talking to me and tattling/asking what's next/etc./etc.) and after a day or two I look like one of Adam Levin'es recent exes (Reality: fuck. I think I'm going to have to do the full 30 days...not just the 10% like I was wishing and hoping for...).

Let's be honest- I've NEVER overdone it with exercise so three days in a row alone is like, "WTF???? my body just wants to sit on the couch and watch our new gizmo that lets us watch Amazon Prime and get on the 'Downton Abbey' train that everyone is so excited about. Instead Jillian, whom yes, I still love- and I will go down to the basement with my already aching body so she can kick my ass again.

(begin whine)

I don't wanna!!!!!!!! I want to just take a day hurts, my quads burn mid-way through and my abs are sore. I just want to be 25 again and not have to worry about all this!!! Wah-wah-wah-wah. I want to play on Facebook and shop on-line........

(end whine)

Here I go.

SS, who might actually die on Day 3...I want that one my headstone "Killed by Working Out' because EVERYONE says 'Exercise won't kill you'....but you know, it might...


  1. Ah, I admire your enthusiasm. And that bear thing, that sounds like the bobcats that gave me an excuse to stop my morning runs after they moved into our neighborhood. Now I bike instead. Not that I'm so safe pedaling past a family of bobcats on a bike, but at least I should be able to go faster if I do encounter them and need to hightail it for home.

    I recommend ice packs, if you'll allow me to step in and pretend to know what the hell I'm talking about here. I recommend you ice the muscles you work after you've cooled down, just like you would if you were injured. Knowing you're going to be so sore the next day, ice it and you'll be surprised how much it helps the next day. This is especially true with the big muscles like legs. Ice, ice, baby!

  2. Naked Steve- Is it wrong that I giggled a little bit when I pictured the idea that you totally thought you could out-ride a carnivorous wild cat on a bike? Not that I don't think you could do it but the image in my head it pretty funny...but again- like I said, exercise certainly COULD kill you (or at the very least some kind of big, hungry, wild car could)...

  3. Dammit. I just wrote a somewhat funny response to you and now it's all gone. The point was that I giggled extensively when I pictured you trying to out-ride a hungry wildcat who thought you were the Special du Jour. And like I said before the comment got erased into oblivious I'm sure you could do it but it would be a sight to see...but then again you might not be able to and that goes right back to my point that exercise indeed CAN kill you (or at the very least a big, hungry wildcat that chases you WHILE YOU EXERCISE can indeed kill you)...


Oh c'mon, don't be shy, leave a know you wanna and honestly, you'd make my entire day and you want to have that warm fuzzy feeling don't you? Mmmk, thanks!