“I don’t get it mom, it’s like Margo doesn’t want to believe I’m on her team.”
“Well, what do you mean?” I ask thinking, ‘DUH! Of course she doesn’t! You’re the bane of her existence you two couldn’t be more opposite. This is HER team and you are, in her mind, encroaching on her turf.’
“Well during practice if I say something to her she just looks at me and makes this face but doesn’t say anything,” says Agnes sort of screwing her lips up.
“Weird,” I respond, “But here’s the deal when you are born only a year apart and you are sisters you will eventually be on the same team due to age guide-lines so that’s just kind of the way it is.” I say this more for Margo’s benefit who is now smirking pretending neither of us can see her.
We are entering our fourth year of cheerleading and to this point in time my girls have never been on the same team so this year is totally new for them. We just started ‘season’ last Sunday and they’ve had two practices together- as in ‘on the same team’. I get Margo’s intense dislike for the situation but the bottom line is her mom’s
a slut very fertile. I got knocked up a second time when Margo was
only eight months old, and things get dicey when kids are born that close in
age. Margo is old for her grade and Edith is just about right for hers. If
Margo had been born a few months earlier she’d be two grades ahead of Edith
instead of just one but Gru and I didn’t know anything about planning that kind
of shit, I just wanted to get pregnant with no regard to what that meant for
kindergarten registration. Very selfish of me.
(Margo in happier days...like before Edith was on her team)
Since Edith is so strongly inclined to be ‘big’ she made it her goal to not just get her back handspring this year but her round-off back handspring. Typically kids get a janky standing back handspring and it takes a while- sometimes months and months!- to figure out how to connect it to the round-off. Connecting is a super big when you’re going from that simple BHS (back handspring) to the RO BHS (round-off backhandspring). In all-star cheerleading there are many components- dance, jumps, stunting and tumbling. Tumbling breaks down into ‘standing tumbling’ and ‘running stumbling’. For Edith it was imperative to be ‘big’ and nail that running tumbling down with her RO BHS and prove to the coaches she was ready to move up. She almost got her RO BHS before her BHS (keep in mind this is the same kid who potty-trained in the middle of the night BEFORE being potty-trained during the day, she is the definition of back assward).
(Edith doing her thing...being sassy as hell on the floor)
Margo, as you can imagine, was very supportive of all of this…until she realized it meant the next step for Edith was to leave her team and move up to the next team, which sadly for Margo, was Margo’s team.
It will be a long year for me because I have to hear from Margo how she would rather clean the rabbit’s litter box with her toothbrush and then use that same poop-stained toothbrush to brush her teeth than have Edith on her team. I will continually hear from Edith how she thinks that Margo doesn’t want her on her team which, if you know Edith, will mean she will do everything in her power to drive the point home to Margo in every single annoying way she can (even if that means nailing down her round-off back tuck before Margo does…which might put Margo right over the edge, she already wants Edith to go to military school and isn’t afraid to mention it at every appropriate time that she can).
SS, who, as an only child, still cannot figure out why my girls have to fight so much instead of just getting along and loving each other, is that REALLY too much to ask?!?!!?