Wherein I'm related to 'some people' (I was probably adopted)

EDITED: Shhhhh, I see quite a few people more people have visited than have commented...we all know how positive-reinforcement works...and I like super-de-duper work on that (stickers, pieces of candy, trinkets, beer, and COMMENTS...)feel free, I loves me some comments....that is all...read on and thanks for stopping by.
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So for the last six years I've been writing ads for our annual yard sale here in Stepford. What usually happens is that I sit down one night, get the list of stuff together that we are going to have for sale and put it on Craigslist. My ads are a little more than 'here's a list of what we have', I've found that to attract the most amount of buyers it's best to have your ad stand out a little...or a lot. People show up at the sale and ask about who wrote the ad and say that it was the ad that drew them in. Not to toot my own horn- it's really not genius, it's just different and people like different.

Some people, as it turns out, do not like 'different'. Apparently I happen to be related to some of those people. I wrote this ad Sunday for my family's yard sale...got two responses from strangers who are all set to shop...and then a request from my family to take it down. Meh, who knows how many people would have come to the sale if it was up for more than 18 hours? We'll never know.

Estate Sale July 25-27- Stuff you NEED

Some people spend their entire lives living as minimalists and purging every chance they get. You know- usually they are those Euro types that have very clean lines in their house and when you are looking for a spool or ribbon (darn b-key. . .every time you see the letter 'b' in this dang write-up I've had to pound the bejeezus (there it goes again!) out of my 'b' to get it to work. . .you're welcome) or an extra relish tray it is nowhere to be found because people like that don't keep extra items around- too cluttery.

My grandparents were not those types of people- lucky for you. As a matter of fact they spent most of their time collecting things they already had at least one of and making them into a complete collection (16 cruets, anyone? Oh but I do think so!).

My aunt and dad have been working hard to undo the last 50 some-odd years of collecting by pricing all sorts of odd, ends, treasures and trinkets just for your viewing pleasure. I imagine that you would be hard-pressed to really think of something that you wanted and not be able to find it at this sale. As a matter of fact I'll even go you one better- I'll bet there are things that you can't even think of and/or fathom that exist that my grandparents had at least one of. . .if not nine of them. They were big into making sure you would never be without that 'one super important item' that you had to have (like wrenches- by the dozens).
 

Bottom line- there's some good stuff on the chopping block this week and you should totally come by and see it. They have so many treasures that there is shopping INSIDE the house and OUTSIDE. . .nope, not kidding, there is something here you NEED. My aunt has gone through the trouble of creating this list of items that will be available so here we go:
 

Sofa/sleeper (I believe there might actually be two of these- one normal and one vintage one with flowers that you NEED. . .no joke)
 

Kitchen stuff: Kitchen Aid Mixer, many kitchen items, microwave, dishes, Kitchen tables and chairs, oak stools, stainless sink w/faucet (yes, we are selling the whole dang thing- kitchen sink and all apparently)
 

Grandma's Things: sewing items, quilting material, canning items, bedding, towels

Grandpa's Things: file cabinet, 2 safes, records, organ, wood folding chairs, tools, jig saw on stand, garden tools
 

ANTIQUES: Edison phonograph cylinder player with 15 cylinders, Bentwood chairs and more, tables, magazine table, music cabinet, vanity, dressers, dresser with glove boxes, coat trees, hutches, chandelier, 1918 China dishes, salt dishes, glass dishes, factory sewing machine, vintage cupboards, fruit press/sausage maker, games, metal toys, lamps, gas lights, kerosene light with reflector, Roper gas stove, wood boxes, crates, license plates, tools and much more.
(ut...But you know what they don't have...a freaking 'b' key for my computer...that is the ONE THING they don't have...lordy)
 

"Oh emmmm geeeee!!!!! I'm so excited!!! WHERE ON EARTH DO I GO to take part in this amazing sale!?!?!" you say dancing around barely able to contain your excitement.
 

So glad you asked. . .(insert address here)
 

Hours:
Thursday, July 25 from 11 am until 6 pm (and seriously- 11 am. . .I know YOU don't do this but would you believe there are people who knock on the doors and peek in windows before sales? Rude. . .Seriously- give 'em a break, wake up, get you some coffee, read the paper and THEN come shopping)

Friday, July 26 from 7 am until 6 pm (and holy cow- as I'm reading these times she has in here they are in for the LONG HAUL. . .)

 
Saturday, July 27 from 7 am until 6 pm

 
Thanks so much for reading and please stop on by...I promise they've moved all this stuff, priced and they don't want to touch it again to box it up-- please help some pre-loved stuff find a new home with you...
P.S. the rabbit isn't for sale...she's just there to entice you with her cute factor..."Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"...see? It's working! ;) 

 

SS, who hates when a good piece of writing goes untapped...hence posting this here instead of Craigslist...