Thursday, February 21, 2013

Let's Do the Time Warp

I made the very stupid mistake of telling Gru that 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' was one of the greatest movies of all times. Because he is a pop-culture hermit he had never seen nor heard of it when we started dating back in 2001 and agreed to watch it (mostly because he was still trying to make a good impression at that time and pretend to be interested in the same things I was...I mean why else would he have agreed to watch 'Chicken Run' on our first date? There is nothing funnier than British chickens plotting against their chicken pot pie making owners...unless it's the Scottish physics-savvy hen...she was hilarious...) with me. Probably a plan to get me in bed as well- you know, "Oh, if I appease her by watching what she likes she'll think I'm cool and want to sleep with me" worked.

Anyway, so The Rocky Horror Picture Show (herein known as 'RHPS' because I am too lazy and sleep-deprived to type the whole thing out)- yes, I told him it was like the BEST movie ever and I couldn't believe he had never seen it! "Oh my gawd, it's hilarious! You haven't seen it? It's the BEST I watch is every year!! You don't know what you're missing!" So we rented it and somewhere between Dr. Frank-N-Furter dressed as a slutty transexual and the creepy blond guy wearing a diaper Gru called my movie selection skills into question.

"Megan, what the fuck is this? What in the hell is going on? This is stupid, are you kidding me right now?" demanded a very irritated Gru.

"What? This is a classic, Gru. Honestly, Meat Loaf as a delivery guy? Are you kidding?" defending myself as I got up and started bopping around the room singing 'Time Warp" and stepping to the left and then the right with my hands on my hips (with my knees pulled in tight...).

Needless to say I watched the rest of the movie by myself. Yes, Gru still got some action that night but mostly out of my guilt for his not liking the movie not because he wooed me by watching and getting into it like he should have.

Guilt sex.


That is not at ALL what this post is about. What it is about is Vapid Vixen asked if there was a way to follow me- not something most of my friends ask because as they know 1. I never know where I'm going and 2. because they are tired of making U-Turns and chancing that 'it's OK'- and I was all like, "Ummm, I dunno, back in the 2000s when I used to blog we used a blogroll," to which she was probably like, "Oh lord, I'm using an iPad and she's on a Radio Shack Tandy" (not to date myself of anything but are you now seeing how the Time Warp thing ties in? I'm all like old school and had to be brought up to modern day blogging tools by warp speed...and that, my friends, is how you rebuild a carburetor- ba-BAM!).

So I pull on my big girl panties and looked...there's some kind of Google + thing of something so I tried to sign on/in/up for. It took me awhile and I got all bewildered having to add a new profile picture (sheesh), then I had to choose things to follow (like celebrities, or science or current events)- I couldn't figure out how in the hell to get off that screen without choosing and I got all panicky. That was a big commitment- to follow someone or something as a spur of the moment decision (not to mention I'm still not sure what all is involved in 'following'- am I like going steady with celebrities because I'm following them? if so, which ones? do I get to make the selections? if so I choose Adam Levine...and Jason Statham...Adam on even days of the month, Jason on odds).

Then, in true old-person-out-of-touch-with-technology-fashion after I finally committed to following the celebrities I realized that had I simply scrolled down to the bottom of the pop-up menu I could have just skipped that.

Oy vey...what a morning! Then shit! I realized I had left the ice cream out on the counter that I bought at Piggly Wiggly (yes, we really do have one in our town- and yes, I really do Shop the Pig!) and it was more than 'softened' as the recipe I was about to work on had asked for- it was now liquified. This is partially why I had to quit blogging back in the day- I would get so wrapped up in writing and reading that I forgot about my two kids at the time and they would wreak havoc on my kitchen cabinets and their dresser drawers while 'mommy was busy' and then there would be a pile of tampons (clean, out of the bathroom cabinets- I'm not THAT negligent) that they were playing with and throwing at each other (or wearing my thongs on their heads).

Now they're in school though and I have much more time to waste and fuck around on the internet. Amen!

And the moral of this whole story is that I think now people can follow me (it still doesn't mean I have any idea where I'm going so in choosing to keep up with me you are doing so at your own have been warned)...which is dangerous because much like Edith I work heavily on positive reinforcements (i.e. Comments) which is how I got all obsessed with blogging back when I was TKW.

Finally, because you have been ever-so-patient and held on with my through this maze of random, yet somewhat related thoughts, I will show you what the 'softened' ice cream made...

Yummmmo- that would be chocolate covered Rice Krispies for the crust and softened mint chip ice cream for the filling...OHEMMMMMMGEEEEEE!

SS, who is very excited about (eating this ice cream pie) writing again...and meeting new friends (and reuniting with old) in the Blogosphere...


  1. OK, I feel relieved. Just today Google+ was bugging me and I was like "WTF Google+, what do you want NOW?" I'm never there, really. So then it says "Awesome Formerly Retired Hot Female Blogger is now on Google+! Add her to your friends?" And I was of course going "Yes, of course add her!" And then I saw your blog in my blogroll, and I so totally still buy things at Radio Shack sometimes, and I said "Rocky Horror? I love that movie!" So over here I clicked and am now laughing at the old photo of your little MiniMe wearing your thong. I do think, to be fair, that Rocky Horror is a movie that you have to be in the right mood for. And if people had told me it was the greatest movie ever and I didn't know anything more than that before I saw it I would be totally confused and maybe even disappointed. Sometimes I find that the best way to introduce someone to a movie I want them to like is to say "it's not that great, but I like it so let's watch it just this once." And then they go in with low expectations and come out saying "what are you taking about? That was FUNNY!" I say that, but my significant other has never yet watched Rocky Horror with me and I really need someone to watch it with who appreciates it properly. I had such friends back in school, but we have all long since gone our separate ways and now I am alone. Have you ever Sky-watched a movie with someone before? I just now thought of this. Seriously.

  2. Sky-watched? What was that?? I meant SKYPE.

  3. Naked Steve (whom you will always be to me, so don't try with all the new pseudonyms)- I agree, I was wrong to announce that it was the best movie ever- that was a major part of my failure in introducing him to Rocky Horror. There were so many other ways I could have told him about it but it's not 'the best' in a traditional-Oscars' sort of way. Skype-watch? Never tried it- maybe we can do that next Halloween...we need to collect all of the items needed to do it properly (toilet paper, water guns, etc.) just like they do in the theaters! ;)

  4. I'm happy to meet you. TO have someone who understands the joy in a mint and chocolate combination.


  5. Oh this makes me so happy. And here's why. I've had a giant walkie-talkie phone since 1984. The boyfriend, who is an apple slut, finally convinced me to cross over to the dark side. And I did...only because the upgrade to the iphone was free. I'm cheap like that.
    Another blogger asked me to review his book. I agreed but then realized I couldn't because I don't have an ipad or kindle or nook or any of those things. Boyfriend does but I wasn't going to admit that because then I'd have to learn how to use it.
    The author finally just e-mailed me his novel in a pdf.
    Also, I still haven't bothered to figure out google+. I just don't care. But you're on my blogroll now so there's pretty much nowhere left for you to run.

  6. Ah, women after my own heart! I don't own a Kindle either, and I have three .... no, four friends who are writers now. Two of them publish almost exclusively electronically, with no printed editions. So how the hell am I supposed to read them???

    Yes, you know me from the other place, but I only ever see you on my new place. Are you going to visit my old place anymore?


Oh c'mon, don't be shy, leave a know you wanna and honestly, you'd make my entire day and you want to have that warm fuzzy feeling don't you? Mmmk, thanks!