Monday, March 31, 2014

Day The Second


I deserve this wine more than any one person I know. Actually more than any ten people that I personally know. Most of the people I know don't know what a real problem is luckily for them. But me...I earned this shit today.

I actually probably earned more like a bottle of wine but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Last night found Gru in a compromising situation. Shitty hotel with jimmy marks on the door and no form of identification. Lucky bastard could have driven a couple more hours and disappeared into Mexico never to be heard from or seen again. Guess I should count myself lucky that he 1. didn't think of that or 2. really loves me enough to not think of that.

I woke up and panicked for two hours in the middle of the night. Mayday! Ditch the whole effort- have Gru move back home and continue the job search for something better. We'll live off of savings! Dallas is scary! Traffic is bad!!!

As you might have guessed from your own nights of waking up and panicking that solved nothing.

With the light of day everything seemed to much more manageable. What is it about darkness that makes everything seem so insurmountable? This is a constant issue with me. One night I go to bed a totally normal human with a normal, somewhat intelligent, logical brain and at 2:36 am I suddenly turn into an idiot that cannot figure out how to juggle her schedule to volunteer at school for an hour AND get to the post office all in one day.

I have isues.

Anyway, I woke up and planned on taking a nap as soon as I got the kids off to school. Gru had other plans for me. First it was accepting a phone call from Hotmail to get a 'code' and then relay that code to him and then his second task, should I choose to accept it (like if I want him to keep paying the mortgage for the next two months...) was to get his driver's license and overnight it to him.

Nap...shot to shit.

Dropped the girls off to school (will cover people who cannot properly use carpooling lane in later post...ugh) and continued my jammies and no make-up. Woman on a mission. I got downtown all ready to get scrappy with the guy who I was sure wouldn't release Gru's license to me because I wasn't Gru.

"I'll tell him a thing or two and then I'll sit in the damn office until I get that fucking license because I have nothing but time. Tell me I can't have my own husband's license. He's 15 hours away from me, he can't come get it himself...tell me I can't have it, go ahead. I'll sit here all damn day."

As it turned out the kid behind the counter handed the license over without so much as a sideways glance. I should have asked for some more if they had them, looked into identity theft or something sneaky because that seems to be a cheap, fast way to get ahead. Surely I'm smart enough to figure out how to make identity theft work for me.

Drove all the way back to the 'burbs, got some make-up and real clothing on and drove into town to overnight the license. Turned on the turn signal to pull into the UPS Store and got a call from Gru.

"Uhhhh one more thing, can you send my passport too?" Uh-huh. he thought of it. He's totally taking off to Juarez. Gone.

"Sure!" I replied turning off my turn signal and heading in the world's largest u-turn to get back to my house. After successfully finding the passport hidden in a safe (we'll talk about that in a minute) I drove ALL the way back to town and shipped off the passport and license. Likely I'll never see him again, methinks. Sometimes I am so stupid.

Got home, finally some time to fuck about on Facebook. I made some soup, grabbed my fancy crackers and cheese...

Another text. "I need all the girls' social security numbers."

Well at least he's taking them too. That leaves me with just...well me! Peace and quiet. Nice.

Now here's the thing. Gru is kind of paranoid. I don't meant that lightly- he just is- OCD and paranoid. The amount of safes we have in this house is a fucking problem. It's like playing that app "Can You Escape?" every time I need an important document. I had to open one safe to get the combination of the second safe where the social security cards are kept. That took another 45 minutes out of my day.

And then my soup was cold.

A phone call.

"Can you call that girl at the extended stay place?" Uh-huh. There it is.

It is SO not the time for 'I told you so' but there it is...I TOLD YOU SO!

I did not say it though. The place I called on a month ago for him sounded great- reasonable rates, hot breakfasts, happy hours with booze and light apps, a workout facility on-site with passes to another larger place, and the girl at the front desk was kind and happy to talk to me unlike the people at his Ghetto $30 A Day special place where people go because they got throwed out they house and need a place to crash and hang out while drinking 40 ouncers and avoiding paying child support.

That sounded bad but honestly, who stays at a place in one of the largest cities in America that's $30 a night? I mean $30 a night in like North Dakota- probably cool, maybe even a five star joint. This was not a five star joint...but there were probably joints somewhere on the property. $30 in Dallas is a lunch not a hotel room.

After much back and forth I hadn't heard anything for awhile but when I checked my email there was, oddly enough, a reservation confirmation for the new, nicer, classier place for the next 30 days. Weird.

(BECAUSE I'M RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!)

So that was my whole day. I managed to swindle people out of like $80 throughout the day while I posted shit that I didn't want to pack on a local sale site and I actually made a legit crockpot dinner complete with a healthy vegetable that wasn't baby carrots or cucumber slices. Boom. Oh yes, and then my day ended with a shitty email from my mother but that's a story for another day because I can't possibly care about that today. My Give A Damn's busted as they say. I've been putting out fires for 12+ hours and that fire will have to glow and flicker throughout the night because I can't care right now.

SS, who is enjoying her wine very much so thank you...


  1. I think its a standard wife thing to start the serious stressing between midnight and 5 am. It's a rule or something. As for the $30 per night extended stay place. This is in Dallas?? Lord, I paid nearly $50 for a hole south of Nashville and then argued them down to $42. That was as good as it got. Of course, I was living in the middle of Faith Hill central, but Dallas isn't much different than Nashville, is it? Wow, $30 per night is a steal! But like you I wonder if there are dead bodies in the walls or blood in the carpets or something.

  2. I wrote something here a week ago, I know I did. How did it get lost? My laptop keeps losing the internet connection. Knowing my luck I wrote something deep and meaningful only to have it go down the toilet with the internet connection. I'm familiar with those extended stay motels. Its a lonely feeling staying there. But you get used to it. You miss your family, but it gives you a chance to see what the city is like before moving there.


Oh c'mon, don't be shy, leave a know you wanna and honestly, you'd make my entire day and you want to have that warm fuzzy feeling don't you? Mmmk, thanks!