Tuesday, June 11, 2013

I'm a mom, dammit.

(just found this in my drafts...I have so many things to do this very second that this motivates me and reminds me that all I need to do is pull out my cape and get on it!)

Today was my most productive day in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I still checked in with Facebook every five minutes because for some reason I'm totally addicted to it...like there are things I need to see...or read...or know about. There aren't. Almost never do I get on there and think, "Damn, it's a good thing I checked that."

But let's talk about what I DID do today:
1. Laundry: I can do one load of laundry per day because my OCD doesn't allow me to dry 87% of the items I wash. Therefore I am limited on what I can wash because I have a finite space in which to hang wet/damp items.

2. Paid multiple medical bills: Thank you Scott Walker. I didn't used to have to do this but it's a nice break from my quiet day. I have yet to have a bad customer service experience with people in the billing department. I attribute this to the way I start off all of my conversations, "I was hoping to pay a bill over the phone today?" Uh HELL YES we will take your money. I think they are so used to battling with people who fight over their bills and/or are unable to pay...I'm easy prey and they like me. It's like buying friends...I pay, they like me.

3. Called three chiropractors...booked four appointments, cancelled two appointments. Yeah, it was a productive and unproductive venture all at once. I'm over anti-depressants and ready for a more natural solution to my craziness and by God I'll try anything to get Edith to act like a normal eight year old...adjusther too.

4. Boiled three dozen eggs...you read that right. Cracked about half of them but only after they were hard boiled so it's all good.

5. Guided my three spawn in coloring of eggs from #4. I felt like a mom...getting some shit done and interacting with the kids while I took a break from Facebook. Don't worry, the world didn't end while I decorated those three dozen eggs but when I was done I learned that Noam Chomsky is still alive and the cheer gym near my parents' house in Illinois doesn't have an open gym.

6. Shopped on the internet and found a cool 'gold' watch just in time for that fad to pass. Purchased watch which will arrive just as gold becomes totally passe but I will continue to wear it anyway because it's new and I can't buy something and then not use it because it's wasteful.

7. Listed play kitchen on Craigslist for sale...$30 back in my pocket...BA-BAM! We paid $40 for it at a garage sale 8 years ago...plastic is plastic and doesn't really show wear and tear so I wrote off the $10 and am glad to have $30 to pay for my gold, out-dated watch.

SS, who is reading this months later and thinking, "Damn, I am one productive girl..."


  1. I love your monetary relationships with the Billing People; is this the platonic lady version of calling those late-night hotline numbers? "For another $40 Service Fee, I'll agree with anything you say, and let you tell me stories about your kids." I know I'd call in a flash! :P

  2. When did gold watches go out of fashion? I was just on Ebay bidding on a gold Elgin pocketwatch. That sucker jumped from $30 to $150 before I could blink and then it climbed on up from there, but I quit watching.

  3. Kana- I think you are right. I will talk to anyone and the people who I pay (like the cashier at Piggly Wiggly or the billing department at doctors' offices) will talk back to me (not talk back to me like my kids do but really interact with me).

    Naked Steve- (crossed fingers) they haven't...yet. I was just sure that by the time I finally got around to buying the watch the fad would be over. I purchased it in 'rose gold' just to appear ahead of the trend...so far it's working for me.

  4. Gold is one of those fashion statements that is never gone out of style for long. I'm no fashion expert, but my grandfather was a jeweler and he never found gold to be out of fashion for long.

  5. I am a sucker for the facebook too. Why do I keep looking at 100x a day???


Oh c'mon, don't be shy, leave a comment...you know you wanna and honestly, you'd make my entire day and you want to have that warm fuzzy feeling don't you? Mmmk, thanks!